Return of the Stallion

Today, I tentatively returned to Gaydar. I tried to convince myself that I was nonchalantly browsing, but I was secretly hoping that Italian Stallion had responded to my message.

As I logged on, I was instantly greeted by the machine-gun alert notifying me that I had received a private message.

I'm ashamed to say that I eagerly attacked my laptop with over-zealous fingers. I clicked my mouse on the '1 Message Received' icon so aggressively that the button almost flew off.

Desperate, moi?

My heart was pounding as the message slowly materialised on the screen. I was thrilled to see that the message was from the Stallion himself.

"Hey sexy," he had written. "Love your photo, you're HOT! You look a bit tipsy tho, lol! Love to meet u in the flesh... ;-)"

I was slightly crestfallen by the "tipsy" remark. It's true; I was steaming drunk when the pic was taken, however I was hoping that my squiffy smile and glazed eyes would be mistaken for relaxed, sexy poise. No such luck.

Nevertheless, I was revelling in the compliment. Hot, eh? I would have preferred 'devastatingly handsome' but I suppose 'hot' would suffice.

I realised that he had attached a picture to the message and I clicked on it to reveal a youthful, handsome face. He ticked all the necessary boxes of the Italian stereotype: Black hair, olive skin, dark eyes. He was just my type.

I immediately replied:

"Thanx. Would def like to meet up 4 some fun. Ciao."

The "ciao" was supposed to be a cute reference to his Italian origins, but I hoped that it didn't seem patronising. I didn't want him to think that I was taking the piss.

With trembling fingers, I logged off. I kept the image of the Stallion's bronzed, firm six-pack and sexy Mediterranean smile in my head as I legged it to the bathroom for a quick wank.